Kane and Bayern lay down ominous title marker as Ten Hag suffers shock defeat | Bundesliga

Remember when Harry Kane never scoring in August was a curio that felt like it needed an exorcism? Nobody in Germany remembers, and an era when Bayern Munich’s centre-forward seemed even vaguely stoppable seems like a very long time ago. The optics of his imperious second-half hat-trick in this opening game were very welcome, particularly in the light of the Bundesliga’s groundbreaking new TV deal which meant viewers in the England captain’s home country could see Kane do his thing on the BBC or on a choice of two different YouTube platforms.

Yet the remarkable thing about Bayern’s first-night salvo is that they still would have destroyed RB Leipzig, one of their more challenging domestic hurdles of recent years, had Kane not showed up to the party. It was the dictionary definition of ruthlessness but Ole Werner, the new Leipzig coach, could have done nothing in his half-time team talk to change the course of events. By the interval, Michael Olise’s double and a brilliant Luis Díaz debut strike in between already had Bayern home and hosed. Kane’s contribution was merely extra cream and cherry if you were Bayern, or salt if you were Leipzig.

Technically the visitors might have had cause for complaint, with Antonio Nusa’s thunderous second-half strike disallowed; rightly, because Castello Lukeba had taken several touches rather than p***ing from a free-kick award directly before but wrongly, because the officials were only alerted by Joshua Kimmich’s “unusually strong protests” (per a DFB statement), making it an instance of VAR working outside its agreed remits.

With that said, Leipzig would look ridiculous if they were to protest. And who would want a replay of this nightmare? Werner is marshalling a significant rebuild and in that sense the timing of this trip to Munich was cruel, like taking an exam having had 10 minutes to revise. It would be unfair to judge the new coach or his team on this but rivalling Bayern will not be their job this season. Their job, and Werner’s, is to forget this and move on. Bayern were simply magnificent, even without Jamal Musiala to call on. Olise was scintillating, untouchable, and Vincent Kompany made a point of praising Serge Gnabry, frequently linked with a move away but renewed here as Musiala’s lo***. “When we went into the locker room at half-time,” added Kimmich, “I already told him that he was playing exceptionally well.”

The rest of the opening weekend gave no indication that anyone – at least for now – could do what Werner’s side failed to do and at least make Bayern uncomfortable. Bayer Leverkusen were, perhaps, the weekend’s biggest losers for Erik ten Hag’s first Bundesliga game at the helm after a surprise 2-1 defeat at home by unfancied Hoffenheim. “A game in which not everything was bad, but definitely not much was good either,” in the words of their newly arrived goalkeeper Mark Flekken.

Leverkusen took an early lead through Jarell Quansah but they never looked comfortable, and the visitors equalised when Quansah deflected Fisnik Asllani’s shot past Flekken and into his own net. Tim Lemperle hit the second-half winner, having hit a post inside two minutes, and Ten Hag’s team rarely looked like creating anything outside of set pieces – Quansah’s opener had been headed in from an Álex Grimaldo free-kick.

If the starting lineup didn’t look too unfamiliar, with Flekken and Quansah two of only three new signings starting, the drop-off in quality is clear, with only Patrik Schick, Edmond Tapsoba and Piero Hincapié (with the latter coveted by Arsenal) regular starters in the back half of last season. Die Werkself’s famous punch from the bench is no more either, with new boy Ernest Poku the only non-teenager of the outfield substitutes. Ten Hag needs a productive last week of the transfer window.

The window has been frustrating for Borussia Dortmund too, but not as frustrating as their Saturday opener at St Pauli. BVB, following on from their sensational run-in to snatch a Champions League place last season, were striding towards a win as they led 3-1 with five minutes of normal time to go, despite Serhou Guir***y missing a penalty after his headed opener. Then defensive debutant Filippo Mané was shown a red card for holding back Abdoulie Ceesay as he prepared to shoot and Danel Sinani scored the resulting penalty before Eric Smith scored his now-customary piledriver against Dortmund to tie it up. “This shouldn’t happen to a top team,” chided Niko Kovac, and he wasn’t the only unhappy one.

On Jobe Bellingham’s Bundesliga debut he was substituted at half-time, with his parents, Mark and Denise, coming through to talk to Sebastian Kehl after full time. Bild reported that Bellingham’s father gave the sporting director his views on the switch and Dortmund’s performance. It was clear Kehl had been blindsided. “We are all disappointed with the result,” he said, “but the [changing rooms and area around them] is and remains reserved for players, coaches and management, not families and advisers. That won’t happen again. We have clearly informed everyone involved of this.” Jobe’s arrival is a test for Dortmund. Can they still develop elite talent having wandered from that as their modus operandi? The tension around the club – with goalscorer Julian Brandt talking about taking bad habits of recent times “with us into the new season” – means a strong lead from Kovac and Kehl is important to get this season on the right road.

Not everything is perfect at Bayern; after Kane’s post-Super Cup comments that the squad “is a bit light” Max Eberl is expected to go back to the board today and ask for further funds, with another forward a priority. This is with the long game and the rigours of a long campaign in mind because for now, there is no touching for Bayern. For the rest of the Bundesliga, September can’t come soon enough.

Talking points

If anyone looks ready to challenge, it’s the young bucks of Eintracht Frankfurt. Making light of Hugo Ekitiké’s exit, they hammered Werder Bremen 4-1 with 19-year-old Can Uzun (a sensational opening goal and two ***ists) and 20-year-old Jean-Mattéo Bahoya (two goals) leading the way. No prizes for spotting their next €80m-plus sales.

The return of Hamburg after seven years away (in the season HSV went down Schalke were runners-up in the Bundesliga and Pep Guardiola won his first Premier League title with Manchester City, to give you some idea of how much has happened since) was encouraging as they took a goalless draw at Borussia Mönchengladbach. “It can only get better,” grumped the Gladbach captain, Rocco Reitz.

In fact both promoted teams – in what is the rarest of occurrences in the modern European game – kept a clean sheet on opening day, with Köln taking all three points via Marius Bülter’s late headed winner at last season’s surprise team Mainz. The real head-turner, though, was Effzeh’s new coach, Lukas Kwasniok, who wore the team’s home shirt on the touchline. “I saw the jersey presentation at a sponsors’ evening and got goosebumps,” he said. “Then the decision was clear to me. I’d do it, if I was allowed to” (note; he was, as Köln were wearing their black and gold away strip, with Kwasniok expected to switch to that to avoid a clash when they play at home against Freiburg next week).