Alien Invasion: 7 Dumb Things NOT to Do When They Land

So, you’re just living your life, sipping iced coffee, scrolling memes, when suddenly—BOOM. Headlines everywhere: alien invasion confirmed. UFOs aren’t just grainy government footage anymore; they’re parked right above us, blocking out the stars.

Now, if you’re anything like me, your first thought is probably: “Oh cool, I knew watching 427 sci fi movies would come in handy someday.” But here’s the thing—Hollywood has lied to us. Repeatedly. In real life, an actual invasion won’t look like neatly scripted plots where brave main characters save the planet at the last second. Nope. In reality, human beings will panic, make terrible choices, and probably create more problems than the invaders themselves.

So, allow me—your slightly overcaffeinated, conspiracy-theory-loving, s***-sprinkled guide—to help you not be that person. Let’s talk about the 7 d*mb things NOT to do when they invade Earth.

1. Don’t Try to Selfie During the Alien Invasion

I swear, if an alien invasion happens, the first viral video is going to be some influencer yelling, “Heeey guys, it’s me with this glowing creature behind me, don’t forget to like and subscribe!” And five seconds later—zap. Vaporized. RIP, bestie.

When the invasion is happening, that moment marks a turning point—people are confronted with the reality of first contact and the chaos that follows.

With the arrival of these aliens on Earth, the significance of their reaching our planet cannot be overstated. They didn’t cross the solar system for your TikTok clout. They’re not Disneyland mascots. They probably don’t even understand why you’re pointing a rectangle at them. And if they do understand, they might see it as a threat (remember, their intelligence is likely centuries ahead of ours).

Every movie teaches us this lesson. Remember the panicked citizens in Cloverfield? Half of them died because they were too busy filming instead of running. Same with World War Z. In the moment of invasion, when chaos and uncertainty are at their peak, if you’re holding a phone, you’re not holding a weapon, a shield, or your survival instincts.

Selfies are cute at brunch, not when glowing invaders are stomping cities flat. If you absolutely must create proof, do it from far away, in a safe hiding spot. Because in the story of this invasion, the person screaming “say cheese!” is not making it to the second half.

2. Don’t Scream and Run in Circles

This one feels obvious, but trust me: panic will be the number one killer in an alien invasion. The majority of casualties or problems during an invasion are caused by panic, not the invaders themselves. Imagine millions of citizens running, screaming, clogging streets, crashing cars, all while the invaders calmly watch from their ships like, “Wow, these humans are making this too easy.”

Here’s the thing—noise draws attention. And attention, in this scenario, is bad. Loud acting out is basically yelling: “Hello advanced creatures, I’m over here! Free target!”

Think about movies like A Quiet Place. The main characters only survived by shutting up. Same principle applies here. Screaming is instinct, but instincts are not always smart. In war, discipline matters.

If you want to create a survival plan, start with silence and focus. Your chances of living go up if you move strategically, not like you’re auditioning for “World’s Worst Background Extra” in a disaster film.

3. Don’t Attack With Garden Tools

I’m begging you: leave the rake in the shed. I don’t care how many action movies you’ve watched, a shovel will not save the planet.

Alien threats might take unexpected form—strange pods could appear after an asteroid shower, only to mutate into dangerous creatures—making improvised weapons even less effective.

Let’s get real. These invaders crossed space, dodged meteors, maybe stopped by Venus for a snack, and arrived here with ships the size of cities. Do you honestly think your rusty pitchfork stands a chance? That’s like challenging Iron Man with a butter knife.

And it’s not just about weapons—it’s about mindset. Every sci fi film shows humans firing rockets, nukes, and even robots at the aliens. What happens? Nothing. Shields up, invaders unfazed. If our biggest bombs barely scratch them, your garden hoe is laughable.

If you really want to help, don’t waste energy on DIY fighting. Focus on finding shelter, food, or ways to create alliances with other survivors. Leave the heroics to the characters in movies.

4. Don’t Trust the First Politician Who Speaks

Here’s how it’ll go down: big speech, stern face, lots of “Citizens, remain calm.” Cue patriotic music. Meanwhile, cities are being leveled, and you just know someone in the room is whispering, “Uh, sir, everything’s actually on fire.”

In history, leaders haven’t exactly been stellar at handling threats. Some underestimate danger. Others sell out for power. And when it comes to negotiating with a superior alien race, do you really want the same people who can’t fix traffic lights making the deal?

Every movie proves this point. In Mars Attacks!, politicians literally roll out the red carpet and get zapped. In Independence Day, the U.S. government thinks a nuke will fix everything. Spoiler: it doesn’t. The plot always shows us that leadership crumbles when facing something beyond human society’s understanding.

Trust your instincts, trust your neighbors, trust the survivors around you—but don’t hand your survival plan to someone who only learned the word “spaceship” yesterday.

ALSO READ: Strangest Places on Earth You Won’t Believe Exist

5. Don’t Believe Movies Prepared You

Let me crush this fantasy: you are not Will Smith. You are not Tom Cruise. You are not the chosen one who saves humanity in the second half of the story. You’re more likely “Panicked Bystander #14,” running down the street while CGI fireballs explode behind you.

Here’s why relying on movies is dangerous. They are stories, not guides. Hollywood creates drama, not accuracy. They exaggerate, simplify, and glamorize. The truth is, an alien invasion might not even involve visible explosions. It could be silent, like hacking into our systems with alien technology, or spreading a virus we don’t even understand.

Remember how in the seminal novel War of the Worlds, the invaders were defeated by germs? That unexpected twist happened and surprised audiences, but real life doesn’t guarantee poetic justice. Assuming films have all the answers is like thinking Sharknado taught you meteorology.

By all means, watch your favorite sci fi movies—they’re entertaining, they keep the imagination alive. But don’t mistake them for survival training.

6. Don’t Forget They’re Smarter Than Us

This should be obvious, but we forget it. If aliens made it to Earth, they’re already centuries ahead of us. They have higher intelligence, advanced robots, and alien technology we can’t even imagine. We struggle to get Wi-Fi in the bathroom; they just crossed the universe.

It’s like ants trying to strategize against humans. The ants can be brave, sure—but they’re not winning. That’s us. We’re the ants.

The future of the human race depends on humility. Instead of charging into war, maybe we try diplomacy. Maybe we make allies. Maybe we learn from them—about their home planet, their worlds, their creatures, their way of life. Heck, maybe we realize how to create without destroying everything around us.

If we treat them like enemies, we risk being destroyed before we even understand the threat. In many science fiction stories, alien invaders don’t just destroy—they also enslave humanity or steal Earth’s resources, making these real risks often depicted in such tales. If we approach with caution and curiosity, maybe there’s hope.

7. Don’t Assume They’ll Look Like the Movies

Hollywood has spoiled us with predictable aliens—green skin, big heads, slimy tentacles. But if they actually invade Earth, they might look nothing like the characters in a movie. In fact, they might not even be creatures in the way we understand life. They could be energy beings, AI-powered robots, or something so bizarre our brains struggle to process it.

Here’s the danger: if you ***ume the invaders look like Star Wars extras, you’ll overlook real threats. Remember, sci fi films are designed for audiences—they give us humanoid shapes we can watch on screen. But the universe is vast, and life on other worlds could be stranger than anything we’ve imagined.

There are other examples in literature too—think of H.P. Lovecraft’s horror where beings are indescribable. That’s scarier than any rubber-suit alien from a ‘50s film. So don’t underestimate the unknown just because it doesn’t match what you saw in your last Netflix marathon.

Preparing for the Worst

C’mon folks! The odds of an actual alien invasion are slim, but if the universe has taught us anything, it’s to expect the unexpected. The solar system is vast, and with so many other worlds out there, it’s not impossible that an alien race could decide to invade Earth. If that day ever comes, human beings will need to be ready for the worst-case scenario—one where our home planet, our freedom, and even the future of human society are on the line.

But here’s the point: preparation isn’t about creating fear, it’s about raising awareness and promoting peace and cooperation among human beings. If aliens ever attempt to invade, we’ll need more than just soldiers and intelligence agencies—we’ll need friends, allies, and a united front. History has shown us that war and conflict can tear us apart, but in the face of a threat from the stars, it’s time to put aside our differences and work together to defend our planet and humanity.

If the plot of every alien invasion movie has taught us anything, it’s that survival depends on teamwork. Whether it’s a group of humans fighting off a monster from space or a cast of characters banding together to save half of humanity, the lesson is clear: we’re stronger together. The arrival of aliens could happen at any moment, and the threat is real—even if it’s just a blip on the radar for now.

So What Should We Actually Do?

At this point, you’re probably wondering: “Okay, smarty-pants, if all those things are d*mb, what’s the smart move?” Fair. Here’s a quick cheat sheet:

• Stay calm. Panic is death.
• Keep quiet. Don’t attract invaders with noise.
• Always be skeptical. Not every handshake means peace.
• Be humble. You’re not the hero of this story.
• Above all, stay alive. That’s the whole game.

The plot of the invasion isn’t ours to control—we can only play smart roles in it. Maybe we’ll get lucky, maybe we won’t. But survival starts with avoiding dull mistakes.

Humanity’s Cosmic Reality Check on Alien Invasions

Here’s the big takeaway: an alien invasion could be the ultimate mirror for humanity. While fictional stories about alien invasions are common, experts agree that the likelihood of an actual invasion is extremely low due to the immense resources required. Will we panic and crumble? Will we create chaos that makes it easier for the invaders to win? Or will we adapt, learn, and maybe even grow into a better version of ourselves?

Throughout our past, humanity has faced crises that tested resilience and unity, and this scenario echoes those challenges on a cosmic scale. Cl***ic alien invasion literature, like H. G. Wells’s The War of the Worlds, explored what might happen if superior beings decided to start invading. The lesson? Survival is messy, but possible.

The stars have seen countless civilizations rise and fall. Sometimes, interstellar objects p*** close to the sun, reminding us of the vastness and unpredictability of the universe. If it happens to us, maybe it’s not the end, but the beginning—a chance to realize we’re part of a vast universe full of worlds, stories, and creatures beyond imagination.

Either way, if tomorrow morning you look up and see glowing ships hovering in orbit, just remember one thing: don’t be the idiot taking a selfie.

UP NEXT: Worst Serial Killers of All Time Ranked by Pure Evil