Can somebody please explain…
1.The constant use of three dots…
2.The constant, ear-shatteringly loud ringtones:
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3.And it’s always the marimba:
4.The looks of horror:
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5.The volume being BLASTED:
6.The non-sanctioned swiping:
7.The never-ending voice texts:
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8.The strange pronounciations:
9.The grunts… THE GRUNTS:
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10.That one phone case that must be mandatory to buy:
11.The CONSTANT use of CAPITAL letters:
12.The ol’ t-shirt squint:
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13.The cyborgian comments:
14.The SHOUTING:
15.Texting like it’s 1911:
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16.The double-clutch:
17.The constant click-clacking:
18.Their favorite emoji:
19.The never-ending wait at the ATM:
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20.The whole “Chipotle” thing:
21.The insistance on “screenshot:”
22.The unbelievable ***umption:
23.That little lick:
24.The tomato juice conundrum:
25.The hilarity in holes:
26.The second click:
27.Leaving a voicemail like it’s 2007:
28.Living the au naturel lifestyle:
29.The old-timey language:
30.The close, personal relationship:
31.The severe lack of “mute:”
32.And the electric story-telling:
Although, honestly, I want to hear about that duck.
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